Episode 25 – Part 1 – CoParenting Challenges between Step Dad and Biological Dad

[00:00] Dr. Sabrina, people expert, introduces today’s topic of fathers and blended families

[00:16] Title Sequence/ Introduction Music

[00:50] Defining Blended Families
Thirteen hundred blended families are created everyday. These families typically go through a rough time of figuring out how to build and grow around the new dynamic.

[01:59] The relationship between Allen and Quincy
Allen and Quincy discuss where their exact problems began. Discipline and boundaries for parents and children played a big part in the two’s issues. Understanding values and expectations for child rearing was a big learning curve.

[09:45] “I need to talk to [my partner,] first.”
Communicating what is happening amongst all adults in the family is key. Quincy recounts a time that a system that worked for him and the child’s mom was being changed simply because a new person was added to the dynamic.

[14:43] “I don’t want another man raising my child.”

[17:35] Where did the relationship go wrong?
Quincy recalls a Christmas get together when respect was not given based on an effort to be petty. Allen brings up a moment of his time being disrespected because of miscommunication between the child’s mom and Quincy. The root of the issue was based on both people needing respect for and from one another.

[23:21] Differences of disciplining children

[25:42] How are you going to make this work for YOU?
There is a way that parenting works for the Huxtables and the Jones’. But how can you make it work for you and your family? Blended families don’t all have to work the same, they just just have to work for you.

[27:11] Learning how to communicate and mend relationships for the betterment of the family unit

[27:58] A spoiled child

[31:55] The turning point in the relationship
Building opportunities for each person to not only share their perspectives and needs in the relationship, but also to create bonding moments amongst everyone. It is hard to be in partnership with people that you don’t like or respect.

[43:19] Advice for women
Workout your emotions before entering another partnership. When you do enter another relationship, prioritize communication and valuing your child and family unit as a whole.

[50:22] It’s bigger than the child
The child is one of the first people to miss out on resources and love. But the lack extends to all of the people that are connected to that child. The support team that doesn’t have the opportunity to adequately be in the child’s life, misses out too.

[52:30] Advice for men
Humility and open communication will take you everywhere in the relationship. Making it clear that you are open and willing to do what it takes to make the family unit work, will only benefit everyone.

[53:35] Get help
It is okay to invite a family counselor or mediator to help navigate the unfamiliar territory of blending families. Seek the help that you need.

[55:18] Conclusion